when my husband and i got married, or during the weeks leading up to the wedding, my then-fiancé would at times (randomly) sort of smile or laugh and shake his head and say, “you’re going to be mrs. doofus”. we’d both laugh – out of excitement about getting married and also because yes, he is a bit of a doofus. a wonderful, sweet, loveable doofus.
my husband always knew that he wanted children – he just was never really sure about a wife. luckily for him, he met me (because i’m awesome) and together, we are now creating our life and our family over here in germany, where neither of us really want to be all the time (but we’re working on that, too). missing our families and having to rely on each other in a completely new way has made our relationship stronger, cemented our commitment and now we are happy to be entering a completely new phase of life:
babies! the plural will probably freak him out, so i really should say: baby!
okay, i’ll admit it, we’re both a little freaked out. i mean, this stuff is hard anyway, but add in a language that neither of us speak (yet – i will learn german), customs and practices (especially in giving birth) that are completely different and an uncertainty about how to go about every little detail (for example: passports – does this kid have to have a german one just because it’s born here? can it be german, american and british or do we have to give one up??) and pile that on top of the already normal fears and anxieties of money, new parenthood and being away from our families/support system and well, yeah… we’re a little freaked out.
but on the other side, we are thrilled. it just changes everything and when i close my eyes and imagine my future (and yes, in my head, future me has showered, slept and is happily bouncing a beautiful baby that can easily sign all of its wants and needs and therefore, hardly ever cries…), i am completely overwhelmed with love and gratitude for this little one and the life that we will have here and wherever the future takes us.
so now, baby makes three…