well, i suppose i’ve discovered that i don’t really like writing about myself as much as i thought i would. i can’t believe the last time i posted was the middle of my pregnancy! now, i’m at 36 weeks, 3 days (to be exact) and shit is starting to get REAL.
we’ve moved into our new house and are slowly (way to slowly for me, but way too quickly for my husband, who is developing some sort of nervous disorder about money) furnishing it. it’s amazing buying furniture for the first time in seven years. before, everything was accumulated over years and years and bought in various places – i had a bit of encinitas, a bit of san francisco, a bit of portland and it all summed up me and my life in ways that i loved, but may not have been entirely healthy (defining myself by my [albeit, amazing] stuff – not so good).
getting rid of everything i owned was fabulous and frankly, i’d recommend it to anyone and everyone at least once in your life. but now that i’m trying to accumulate again and have a three bedroom house to fill, it’s hard to just buy things and of course, most of it ends up coming from ikea, which hopefully just doesn’t say anything about me (except that i ain’t got no money).
anyway, i digress. we’ve got a bed, a sofa, a washing machine – all the important things, really. and the furniture for the baby room comes tomorrow morning. which is good since come next week, i could literally go into labor at any moment. though, i really hope he’ll wait for a little bit. a couple weeks at least. we’re not quite ready yet (though not sure if we will be in a few weeks, either).
so, what’s been going on in the past however many months? my feet have been crazy swollen, i’ve had horrible heartburn, my lower back has been aching and i haven’t been able to get comfortable sitting, standing or lying.
that said, i think it’s probably really just worse the past month or so. but pregnancy has made me live in the moment so much so that i just don’t remember the past few months (which reminds me why i wanted to keep this record in the first place…).
we are both starting to get really nervous (and really excited) and i think that is taking it’s toll on us (in small, non-permanent ways). we go from having the most loving moments ever, talking about the baby and the future and our life together, to arguing about everything: whether we can afford to buy plates (seriously, sometimes i wonder about my husband…), whether or not sex is okay at this stage, how many diapers we should order, if i’m being sensitive and overreacting about everything (which is probably true sometimes) or he’s just an insensitive jerk (which is definitely true sometimes) and a million other things.
and before you ask, no, we don’t have a name and we have no idea how we’re going to agree about it. and yes, that is another thing that we’ve argued about more than a few times. life would be perfect if i liked the name darcy. i’ve loved mr. darcy for years; it would just be so fitting to name my child after him. however, neither darcy nor fitzwilliam really do it for either of us. another name i would love to love? gilbert. as in gilbert blythe. but again, just not a name i really like. i’ve thought about austen, as in jane, but it’s a bit too “american” for us (as my husband says). i really like bennet, as in, elizabeth, but of course, james hates it.
i’m gonna have to start doing some more name research. my other favorite authors? tom robbins, thomas hardy, t.s. eliot (and yes, i’ve considered eliot)… i can’t really think of any more. and characters? it seems like i really like girl characters (and girl names).
anyway, that’s just one thing that we need to do in the next few weeks. sigh.