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one of the best burritos in southern california (yeah, i take pictures of my food – that’s how i roll)

so, i really like eating. i mean, really. my husband recently pointed out that when you look on my facebook profile page, the only interest it has listed is eating. and i feel like that’s pretty accurate. of course, that leads to many problems of its own, but even though i feel like i shouldn’t be allowed out of the house sometimes because it’s too embarrassing, i constantly have to tell myself that i’m not actually that overweight (i am thin and gorgeous!: usually said staring into the mirror, possibly crying and always in a horrible british accent à la edwina).

but now, i’m pregnant – and that should be good, right? i should be craving foods and be allowed (to a certain degree) to eat whatever i want, right? but sadly, i am now suddenly not interested in eating at all and am basically doing it out of habit, because i have to or i’ll die and because i’m pretty queasy when i don’t (also because i want my baby to be healthy and happy – added after previewing, realizing i had missed a “good mother” moment). but i’m not enjoying it at all! wtf??

for a while there, i didn’t really notice: all i could tell was that i wasn’t craving anything. my husband would say, “what would you like for dinner?” and this strange, quizzical look would come over my face as it dawned on me that i didn’t know. i just haven’t been able to figure out what i wanted to eat. and that’s weird for me. i sort of like my husband because he’ll eat anything and doesn’t really like making decisions, so in terms of food, it’s always what i want. just the way i like it.

but now, it’s 11:15am and i’ve been up since around 8:00am and i have just eaten a bit of yogurt and a bit of applesauce because there’s nothing i want, but i really, really had to eat.

before, i’d wake up and sort of read in bed for a bit until i was hungry and jump out of bed in that oh glory of all glories, it’s time to eat! sort of ways and go make myself a lovely breakfast (ah the joys of not working). but now, whenever it’s that time, and i’m starting to feel queasy and i can tell that my stomach is completely empty, i sigh and think, ugh. what oh what am i going to eat? it’s depressing. horrible and depressing.

on top of that, everything seems to give me heartburn. i’d heard of that in the third trimester, but already? at six weeks? there should be some sort of law against that. because it’s making me want to eat even less.

maybe part of it is that i’ve also been a bit lazy (which is a judgmental person’s way of saying tired or exhausted) and so i haven’t been cooking a lot. maybe if i made some of my favorite things (as featured in this post: mexican, yummy fake-meat sandwiches, vietnamese food, pizza and sushi), i’d be more likely to be excited?

that said, i was so lazy yesterday, we ordered pizza. and it was okay, but i wasn’t as into it as i should have been. i mean, this pizza is really good. it’s got artichokes and spinach and lots and lots of cheese…

so… what’s my problem? is this normal, you just don’t hear about it as much as the cravings/aversions?

and more importantly, what can i do about the heartburn? is that going to be something i deal with for nine months?

i’ve got my first doctor’s appointment tomorrow. hopefully she’ll answer some of these really important food-related questions (you know, and take blood and do all that other stuff…).

** side note: i am lactose-intolerant and though i took the lactaid pills with the pizza, maybe they don’t work when you’re pregnant??

my once and always idol: