i HATE spiders – just to make that clear at the start. my mother once tried to help me get over it by making me watch arachnophobia. big mistake. i didn’t shower or sleep in my own bed for months. seriously.

so just the other day james and i were talking about leaving my bike in the garden haus so i don’t have to carry it up and down the stairs to the cellar. i said that i didn’t know if i wanted it in there because of the spiders, and he said not to worry. then he said (lied) there aren’t any spiders in germany.

then, i come home to this IN MY HOUSE:

i’m not saying that i believed him. i’m perfectly aware that there are spiders everywhere (i’ve checked. if there were a country that was spider-less, i would have moved there a long time ago.). but i wanted to believe him. i wanted it to be true so bad that i was angry when i moved the broom only to discover this guy.

he was dead, granted. but maybe he just wanted me to think that. i know how tricky they can be. and just in case, every twenty minutes or so, i went back into the room just to check he was still there (as i hadn’t gotten the vacuum out yet).

he’s gone now, but now i know that they are totally in germany. and they are huge.