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our little section of the rhine

it’s been a week now since james and i have started our weight loss competition and i feel pretty good. wednesday, i woke up rather late and felt awful – really tired and achy and completely uninspired. of course, it was raining as well, which didn’t help. but i still managed to force myself to do an hour of pilates. i also walked into town to meet james after work and then made a really nice dinner – baked tofu sticks, steamed veggies and mashed potatoes (of course, james has to have potatoes in some form for every meal). i went walking/jogging tuesday, thursday and saturday and went for a bike ride on saturday as well (to the pet store – tropical fish! yay!)

friday, though, i did absolutely nothing.

today is “day one” of the second week in my couch-to-5k program i’m following. i’m hoping it will turn me into a runner in a way that protects my knee. so far so good. of course, one week isn’t all that much…

all of that exercising aside, james won this week. not only did he lose more than i did, he lost more in a percentage (which apparently is what they do on the biggest loser and the like). i’m telling myself it’s because he’s a boy, but that doesn’t make me feel better. he didn’t do any exercise and just sort of changed how much he was eating and it seemed to do way more than my being neurotic did. sigh. at least i wasn’t perfect last week, so i can still improve this week. and then next week, maybe i’ll do the cleanse. which might be cheating, but hey. at least i’ll win one week.

though, if i do this cleanse, i’ll have to give up peanut butter & jelly sandwiches. and i’m not sure if i could do that right now, even for a week. i don’t know why, but i really crave them. i wonder if the germans would think it’s as weird as the catalans did. i remember for the last day of class, i brought in peanut butter and some of the kids wouldn’t even try it!

of course, the most exciting thing this week was getting my visa. after five years, i’m now living in europe legally. no more fearing flying home or being unable to visit england. i have a visa.

and for some reason, seeing the tenenberg crossed out and cope-morgan written in, it sort of made me realize what it meant to no longer be a tenenberg! i am, of course, blissfully happy being married to james and i love the idea of us being a family and being “the cope-morgans”, but there is a bit of an identity crisis that comes along with it. when the woman in the bürgerbüro printed out my visa and i had to say, “that’s not my name anymore”, i’ll admit it was a little bit strange.

and while i’m the same person and i’ll always be a tenenberg and a rose by any other name and all that, it got me thinking: i know who laura tenenberg is, but who is this laura cope-morgan? and just maybe, it means i can choose a little bit who she is. there are things i really love about laura tenenberg, but frankly, she can really piss me off sometimes. so maybe i leave those things behind. maybe laura cope-morgan gets to be anything i want her to be. laura cope-morgan blogs after all, while laura tenenberg turned her nose up at the very idea (computers and the like). mrs cope-morgan lives in a small town in the country, while miss tenenberg always described herself as a city person. past-laura could never really figure out what she wanted and always seemed trapped by herself while present-and-future-laura seems to be rising above a few of those fears and not even noticing some of those traps.

sadly, though, laura cope-morgan spelled her own name wrong at the bookshop trying to order her german book. so she can’t be all that bright, really…

my visa!